I Did Magic Mushrooms Today. Here’s The Result.
I’ve done mushrooms once before. I liked it. You can listen to me talk about it on my podcast. That was back in August.
So obviously I wanted to try mushrooms again, but it’s not like weed where everybody knows somebody who can get it. Believe me, I tried.
Anyway, fast forward till now. It’s been 3 months and I finally got my hands on those beautiful fungi!
Oh yea, it just so happened that mushroom expert, Paul Stamets, appeared on the Joe Rogan podcast yesterday. I listened to the podcast this morning while I was getting ready for a mushroom experience of my own.
My Trip Idea
I figured it would be a swell idea to drive out toward Big Sur, hike into the wilderness, and trip out. My backpack was packed with notebooks, camera equipment, and batteries. My goal was to record myself experiencing the magic in real time.
I ended up eating 3 stems and 3 caps right before I started my hike. Periodically, I would record myself checking in, saying how I was feeling and what was going on around me. Honestly, the mushrooms never really hit me that hard.
The Effects of Mushrooms On Me
Granted this is only my second experience. Both times I had roughly the same amount. Neither trip involved any visual effects, like hallucinations.
My first trip was a strong, mental trip. It felt like my mind was a broken record at time, and I even described my mind as a toddler that I had to keep in check.
My second trip, today, was extremely mild. I felt a warm buzz, similar to an alcohol buzz. Euphoria and nausea were the two main things that I felt. At times I would get a tiny bit dizzy. For the most part though, I was just happy.
Stay Tuned For The Video!
The reason I’m kind of just breezing over the details is because I recorded myself talking about all of this while I was actually feeling it. So, I would rather let that me explain how I felt on magic mushrooms, rather than sober me.
Well let’s be honest, I’m not sober.
Still, I just did this today, so obviously the video isn’t ready yet. Hopefully I’ll have it up on Youtube in the next few days, and I’ll update this post.
How Mushrooms Helped Unlock My Brain
My biggest breakthrough was the realization of how I connect to other people. It kind of started when I was thinking about a girl that I kind of felt rejected by. Well, I wasn’t rejected, and I never expressed my interest, but I still felt rejected.
Anyway, that led me down a path of thinking about all of the girls that maybe I made feel that way. Then I just starting thinking about people in general who tried to connect with me, or reach out in some way, that maybe I made them feel like I wasn’t interested.
I don’t really know how to phrase all of this, but you kinda get what I’m saying, right?
It’s one of those situations where you can think about something a million times, but it never really sinks in. Well with mushrooms, it sinks in.
My Thoughts on My Experience, While Still on Mushrooms
As soon as I got home, I immediately opened my laptop and wrote how I felt. This was roughly 4 hours after I consumed the mushrooms, but I was definitely still feeling all warm and fuzzy. My face hurt from smiling.
Anyway, I’m just gonna copy and paste that below, and you can read it or not. Also, here’s a picture of my stuff on the top of a waterfall:
11-16-19 Salmon Creek (Mushroom Trip #2)
I had a really interesting day today. I will admit that I had expectations that weren’t quite fulfilled, but THAT’S OK!
I joke around a lot, and to be honest, I kinda feel like I’ve got pretty good at faking being happy. Sometimes that’s enough to make it through the day and fall asleep at night, but it’s not real happiness.
I almost cried today.
Not because I’m “sad” or “depressed”. I’m learning that those are just words we use to describe how we feel, because it’s EASY! We slap that “depressed” label on ourselves and we’re good to go! Now we’re relatable!
But I had to confront REAL feelings today.
I hiked to the top of a waterfall, and as I sat there, still, listening to the water, I just felt like I had to write what I was feeling. Not at peace with nature, not “I am the universe” or some happy-go-lucky lyrics that would put a smile on my face.
The first four bars flowed onto paper, and I played the part of a conduit. They read:
I need someone just to save me from myself now
Cause I don’t care about my mental health, nah
Lately I been paralyzed by my self doubt
And I’m an empty smile away from a meltdown
Look, fuck all the cool shit. Those weren’t just lyrics. Those were REAL feelings.
At first I tried to play it off, like, “oh cool! That’ll make a good song!” But I kept coming back to it. The fact that I wrote “I don’t care about my mental health” and that’s really how I felt, hurt me.
But it’s true.
Sometimes I really don’t, but LOOK! I know I’m way better off than a lot of folks, both my situation and my actual psyche.
And you know what? Today I felt good! Fuck, I felt great! I really felt alive today, and I truly love myself!
But I, like most people, have deep-rooted issues. So I say to the universe, I’m truly sorry to anyone that felt like they tried to connect with me and I refused to let them. I can’t tell you how grateful I am for your effort! Some of you, I felt it in the moment but didn’t trust myself enough to let go. Others, maybe I was too wrapped up in myself to even notice.
Honestly, I’m tearing up writing this, and I don’t care how soft it makes me seem haha.
I’m well aware that this has always been one of my biggest problems. Although today was not exactly what I was hoping for, I do feel like I was forced to confront my weakness, and now I can finally see a path forward.
I promise that I’m not gonna stop working on this problem until I open up so much you’ll all be begging me to shut up!